how I sleep at night knowing my daughter is in a prison of my own design because I turned her into a murderer, my son is abandoned on a notorious garbage realm, and my other son is having an identity crisis because they are from a race I taught them from a young age to hate:
me when i’m in a food coma after eating one 2 many chicken fajitas from chili’s
Anthony Hopkins after eating too many chicken fajitas after Tom brings him to Chili’s
he looks like he was photoshopped into a bowl of boiling soup
Lost in the sauce
‘first day of summer and my cat has fleas’, summer 2017, acrylic on paper
‘first day of summer and my cat has fleas’ pride flag
this sounds like me so much it terrifies me when people offer to pay for anything and it makes me feel like allowing them to pay will make me indebted to them
This is fascinating to me because I never went to church, I’m not a Christian, and yet I can so clearly imagine this it’s like I was there
I can smell this post
My fiancee and I were discussing the worst metal to use to make armor, and the obvious answers are lead and gold, but she cunningly suggested mercury. Which is a fair point, but then I wondered if solid mercury is any good. Googling told me that the melting point of mercury is -38° c (-37° f), so first you get it really fucking cold. At that point, it turns out that mercury has a tensile strength of 1900 mpa, compared to lead’s 18 and steel’s ~500-940 (depending upon the kind of steel).
Now, I know that tensile strength is not necessarily the best measure of a material’s ability to function as armor, but I’m a liberal arts major and didn’t care to actually do that much more research before going straight to, “EVIL ICE DEMONS IN MERCURY ARMOR. THE PCS CAN’T LOOT IT BECAUSE WHEN THEY PUT IT ON IT MELTS AND KILLS THEM.”
Ice Demons wielding weapons made of frozen mercury. Spearheads that break off & melt inside the target. Swords that leave tiny bits of melted mercury inside the wound (the swords re-freeze to razor sharpness while in the ice demon’s claws).
Item: blades, spears, and/or arrowheads made of mercury frozen by Ice Magic; can only be used by one with Ice Magic, but deliver whatever damage the weapon type would normally make plus equal amounts of Cold and 1d8 Poison. Once the wound has been delivered, it continues to deliver 1d8 Poison until the mercury has been removed by healing magic, Wish, &c.
Give me all of these
if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money
pros of this plan:
cons of this plan:
i’m screaming did any of yall have to do silent sustained reading in middle school? i remember NOTHING ever being as funny as when you weren’t allowed to talk or laugh like ur friend from across the class would do something entirely benign like look over and lift a finger n you’d be sittin there like
So, my university does a lot of outreach Classics work, trying to make it less of an elitist subject and more accessible to children, and as part of that, I went to give a talk to a class of 6 and 7 year olds a few months back.
And here’s the thing. Classics is really often portrayed as the last bastion of academic privilege, a subject that is only taught to rich white kids so that they can brag about knowing Latin and get jobs as Tory MPs. But these kids were OBSESSED. They had already done some stuff on myths, and they were so excited to talk about it. They knew all the stories, all the heroes, the gods, the monsters. I have never seen such an excitable group of kids as these 6 year olds shouting about Odysseus.
For the lesson, I asked them to think of their favourite myth and to consider it from the point of view of the monster rather than the hero. The end goal was to show that often the monsters and heroes are quite similar. We decided to do Polyphemus (the Cyclops) in the Odyssey, and so I asked them why they thought Polyphemus might have been so angry at Odysseus that he killed some of his men.
Because he came home and found lots of strange men in his house, eating his food, said the kids.
So, I asked them, do you think that was a good reason to kill people?
No, they said, but he was very cross, and he didn’t do it because it was fun.
And then this KID, this SIX YEAR OLD CHILD, put her hand up and said “well, it was very bad of him, but if we’re cross with him then we have to be cross with Odysseus too, because when he came home from his adventure and found lots of men in his house, trying to marry his wife, he killed them, and that’s the same thing, isn’t it?”
AND LET ME TELL YOU
I am a published Classicist! A PhD student! And I have never made that connection before! Not once! And this child was six years old! And she made the link! By herself!
And so I tried not to show how gobsmacked I was, and we talked more about other monsters, including Medusa, and at the end of the lesson a lot of them said that they thought the monsters were not as evil as we usually think, and then I went home.
But I honestly haven’t got over how excited and engaged those kids were, in a totally regular primary school. Classics, in that classroom, was not elitist or inaccessible. It was something they understood, could really get their teeth into and use to think of new ideas of good and bad, of why we demonise different people for doing the same things. And that’s how I like to think about Classics. Not a series of dry texts in ancient languages, but as living stories that you actually can’t help but love, just a bit.
If this teacher ever publishes this analysis that six-year old better get a forking author credit.
Mate, she’d get a full salary as my research assistant
glassanmals